Saturday, November 26, 2016

Truly Thanksgiving

After my last post about me feeling like a very poor servant, I was bombarded with messages from God through various people.  Before I share what I have learned, I want to pause a bit to explain the purpose of this blog.

I write my blog because I feel like it is my duty to use a gift that God has given me.  God has given me the ability to communicate clearly to others.  I feel like it is my responsibility to open a window into my life and the challenges of being a special needs family so that you can walk in my shoes.  It is my hope that peeking into our lives and viewing the struggles that we face, you will be able to better understand the special needs families in your life.  So many times people have told me they don't know how to act or what to say around our family.  They are afraid they will say or do the wrong thing.  Guess what!  It happens all the time.  It is not about saying or doing the wrong thing, its about the heart behind your words or actions.  So many of the special needs mom's I interact with feel so isolated in life.  They need  you to reach out to them.  Take the risk, make the ask.  It is my hope that sharing with you will give you the courage to understand the special needs folks in your life.

Now back to God and the great big sermon He had for me.

Adam helped me set up my blog and he reads every post.  I asked him for feedback.  WHOA Nelly!  We happened to be in the van and Adam and I were alone.  Young Mr. Sullivan figuratively stepped up to the pulpit and began to preach.  He spent the next 20 minutes giving me a sermon on "Do you want your praise from God or Man"  Honestly, I sheepishly told him both.  Wrong answer, I know.  My little preacher man told me that as well.  It really is hard to go through life truly waiting for praise from God.  Can I just say it is really hard hearing spiritual truth from the same person you gave birth to?

My next message came from my dear friend Denise.  Denise is my section leader at church.  She and I have bonded and I love her dearly.  God has placed her in my life.  Sometimes I am not sure if she is my mentor, or if I am hers.  I think we just walk along side each other holding each other up.  We are Caleb and Joshua leading our own individual pack of Israelites into the Holy land. After Denise read my last entry, she jumped in with virtual hugs and words of encouragement on how she sees me serving others.

Next on the list to join in on the sermon was David.  Now David is a man of few words.  He doesn't say a whole lot so what he said meant a lot.  He told me, "I read your blog, you don't need to feel guilty about me."  Just a few words, but they were packed with meaning.  He touched my heart.

 Monday is my busiest day of the week, and the day when I am most likely to want to go hide under the covers and hibernate.  On Monday (and Wednesday) Adam has a 3 hour and 20 minute biology class that goes from 6-9;20pm.  This class moves fast and the teacher does not give a single break.  The chairs are high and the pressure on my back and legs makes my back hurt so bad.  Monday, I generally come home nearly in tears and all I want to do is grab an ice pack and head straight for the couch.  This time, David risked his life by stopping me to chat at the front door.  He told me he found something in the car.  Next he handed me two envelopes.  I opened the first one and saw a gift certificate for a manicure.  I asked where it came from because I knew we don't have the money for such luxuries right now.  He said that one of my Facebook friends had contacted him and made arrangements for a manicure AND a massage! (I am not going to mention her by name as I don't know if she wants her generosity mentioned.  I was able to thank her via Facebook messenger)  The tears of pain turned into tears of gratitude.  She lives in China and I know she had to go to a great deal of time and trouble to do all of the research to make this happen.  I will never find the words to convey to her how truly special her gift is and how much I really appreciate it.

Thursday nights are my nights off.  David goes to Adam's night class with him and I get to stay home and rest and recover from a very busy week.  Usually I talk to my mom for an hour or so on Thursday nights.  She isn't online and doesn't get to read my blog.  I told her about my blog and the very sweet gift from my friend.  Mom and I chatted for a while and she and I discussed my feelings of inadequacy as a servant for Christ.  The next day she called me for the final part of God's week long sermon.  She had made a list of 20 times that she had seen me serve God.  Most of the items on her list I had completely forgotten about, or just didn't consider them as acts of service.  Once again, I was in tears.

This week the calendar told us to gather with family for a feast and to spend a day giving thanks for the good gifts in our life.  I am truly thankful for a God that hears the anguish of one of his children and sends a whole army of people to show His love for his child.  So to all of the people in God's Army who have blessed me with words and actions since my last blog post, Thanks(for) giving.

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