Let me just start by saying, I believe in the power of prayer. The ability to have a conversation with the all knowing God of the universe is just so mind blowing. Our family is a praying, church going family. Over the years we have been desperate need of prayers. There have been times when the stress was so overwhelming and the situation so scary that I didn't even have the ability to utter more than a simple, God please help! In that time, we needed our friends to come before God on our behalf.
There have been times that people have offered to pray for us. I need those prayers. Our family needs those prayers. The one thing that makes both Adam and I very uncomfortable is when a strange walks up and asks to pray for us, or specifically Adam. I know their intention is good, and they think they are helping. There is only one problem. They don't know our situation. They don't know our specific needs. They take their view of the situation and pray for what they think is important.
One time, a lady came up to us and asked to pray for Adam. I asked Adam if it was okay. He said yes. She prayed that he would be healed and that he would walk. She then proceeded to tell Adam that if he believed and had faith that he would be healed and would walk. She knew nothing about our family or our faith. She didn't even know if it was important to Adam to be able to walk. She was praying for what SHE thought was important and didn't give one second of thought to what our needs were.
Early this year, we were waiting for my son to receive treatment for his condition at Northwestern Hospital in Chicago. He was supposed to have his procedure at 10:30 am and we had been there since 7:30 am since we had to arrive two hours early for lab work. We got a phone call from the staff at Northwestern saying that they had a critical situation that needed the room that they used for Adam's procedure. He would be delayed by at least two hours. I called my mom to let her know that we were delayed since she is hours away and worries. She said, "I will pray that you don't have to wait much longer." I yelled NO! They are trying to save someone's life in there and we can wait. We ended up having to wait 7 hours for Adam's procedure. The person they were working on had a stroke and they did the best they could to save his life. It was very likely that his family was sitting in the same waiting area with us while we waited for Adam's turn.
Recently, a lady sitting beside us at church asked if she could pray for Adam. I said, you can always pray for him. I was hoping to deflect her from praying out loud for him. She waited until the end of the service and again asked to pray for him. I told her that she could pray for protection from viruses like colds and flus that are so very dangerous to Adam. She was a little put off that I was telling her what to pray. Fortunately, her daughter intervened and told her not to be so pushy. She then asked his name and said that she was going to remember to pray for him. I thanked her. Its not that I don't appreciate her prayers, but again she is praying for what she wants, rather than what we truly need.
If you feel compelled to pray for someone that you don't know, please keep a few things in mind.
1. What does the person REALLY need prayer for? Ask them!
In our case, we need prayers for protection from illness, insurance to cooperate rather than fighting us over medical necessity, protection from financial hardship, and strength and endurance for David and I.
2. Consider that praying out loud may embarrass the other person.
Adam doesn't like to be the center of attention. Having someone pray out loud makes him very uncomfortable. He may not want you to point out his weaknesses to others nearby as well.
3. Check before laying hands on someone.
Adam and his pulmonologist have made a deal. Adam doesn't want to get a flu shot since he is greatly afraid of needles. He has to have a lot of blood work and getting Spinraza requires a very long needle into his spine. That is all the needles he can deal with. As a result, Adam has to promise his pulmonologist not to shake hands or touch other people when we are out during cold and flu season. The person you shook hands with 10 minutes ago, may have had a cold and just wiped their nose with the same hand you shook with. By touching Adam, you could potentially spread cold germs to him. Getting a cold can and has nearly turned fatal for Adam several times. We take precautions when touching Adam to keep him safe. As for me, sometimes touch feels bad to me. Sudden touch startles me. I really don't want to be touched by strangers. As Adam's primary caregiver, I have to keep myself from getting sick as well. So before you touch someone to lay hands on them, ask first.
4. Finally, be aware that what you perceive as a hardship or struggle, may not be as big of problem as you think to the person you are wanting to pray for.
Adam doesn't mind using a wheelchair. Walking isn't on his list of priorities. He is perfectly happy getting around in his wheelchair.
Adam doesn't want to get rid of his vent. His vent helps him feel his best. It helps him have the energy to do all of the things that he wants to do. Breathing is hard work for someone with Spinal Muscular Atrophy and using a ventilator gives him the energy to do other things.
Adam also feels that God has a purpose for his life and that he wants to wait patiently while God reveals his purpose for him. He also doesn't want others to lose faith in their prayers when God doesn't instantly make him walk. If and when God decides that Adam should walk, they Adam wants to build up people's faith, not decrease it because they wanted to rush things.
In summary, we love to have people pray for our family. Those prayers mean so much to us, but please consider our needs, not the needs you think we need. If you want to know specific things to pray for, please ask or reach out by email, personal message or text. We are happy to let you know what we need prayer for.
Blessings and love...
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