Yesterday I took my son to the movies. By My Self! Me and a 400 pound wheelchair, our service dog, my son's life saving medical equipment and my purse. Its a lot for me to do by myself. I really try not to go places just the two of us. His suction machine alone feels like it weighs a ton and my damaged shoulders can barely stand the pain of its weight. Without it, he could die. It is just one of many things that have to go with us every single place we go. My hands are full and my head is constantly focused on any situations that I need to be aware of to keep my son from danger,
You and your young child came at us while we were in between the double doors of the movie theater. Do you know how hard it is to get through a single door? Let alone double doors. Nope, you didn't rush up to help us. You were in your own little world, you and your little boy. You didn't look up at the huge black dog and see danger, You let your child get out of reach. Curious as children usually are, he went straight for the 60 pound dog at my son's side. I used my strong voice and told him NO! You yelled at me. You told me I needed a better attitude. You wouldn't even let me speak to say, your child won't stop if I speak softly. He didn't listen to you, he sure as heck isn't going to listen to me if I use a soft voice. Sadly, you have allowed him to believe that he can do whatever he wants. My hands are full, I can't touch your child. I only have a few seconds to protect my son and yours from danger. This is not the time to use a quiet voice.
You don't see the danger, but I do. Your child is out of your reach. He is approaching a strange dog. You know nothing about this dog. I know this dog is gentle and won't harm him, but what about the next dog he sees and rushes up to pet. Perhaps it will be a coyote, or a mean dog that will bite him and leave him scarred for life.
The biggest danger is not to your precious child, but to mine. Your child distracting his dog could cause injury to my son. Twice my son's dogs have pulled away for various reasons and nearly broken his tiny fragile arms. We don't attach his dog to his arms for that reason, but you don't know that. You don't care. You don't care that your son is likely covered in preschool germs and when he touches my son's service dog, those germs just transferred to the dog's fur that will be hanging out waiting for my son to tell his dog good girl and reward her with the pets that tell her she has pleased him. Those same germs that will give your son the sniffles can kill my son.
You don't realize that your words have now ruined my afternoon. My heart is broken because you refused to look at things from my perspective. You don't know how hard I try to stay calm and have an enjoyable time with my son. All you could see was the lady with the bad attitude who said no to your child. I will spend the next 30 minutes trying to calm down, trying to make the adrenaline stop surging through my body. You have ruined 25% of the two hours I have to spend alone with my son. Instead of watching the movie with him, I will be talking myself down, trying to not be angry because once again another person just doesn't understand.
The next time you see someone out with their hands full, trying to take care of their disabled family member, take a hold of your child's hand. Tell them don't touch and don't stare. If they want to know more, ask the person or the family. If I have time, I will stop and chat. But please understand if I don't, because if I am alone with my son, I have to be on high alert at all times. His life is in my hands. I can't let my guard down for a single minute. If his vent falls off, or he gets a plug, I only have 1-2 minutes to react and remedy the situation.
If your hands are free, grab the door. I guarantee you will get a thank you from both me and my son. And then I will smile and for one more second I will have one less thing to worry about. And my day will be made.
